Stephen served here for about 10 years, I think, and I am going to miss him.Stephen Monford was a Sexton here at All Saints', was our friend, co-worker, and member of our church family. Sextons keep things running so smoothly and are the reason this place stays beautiful. Whenever you come to an event that is nicely put together, in a clean, lovely place, it is because of them. Stephen cared deeply about his place, and about all of you, too. Being a Sexton was not just his job, but his calling- his ministry to others.
Stephen died last Sunday after a short battle with cancer. The last year or so, he suffered physically yet he would be here many Sundays, always eager to help and make sure things were perfect for us all. Whenever I would call him and ask him for help with something, no matter how busy he was, he would happily say, "I got you, Tim." I not only felt as if the task at hand was going to get done (and it always did) but I also felt cared for- loved- seen and heard.
Friday, in Rome Georgia (his home town), I am going to be preaching at his funeral because his family's church in Rome felt as if we were the ones who really knew him. In spite of the fact that he was an employee here, he was family to us, and we to him. I have been talking to people who knew him well and hearing stories about him. Everyone smiles before saying a word about him. One of my co-workers here described Stephen as having a "contagious joy." So good.
He took great joy in living life together with all of us. In Episcopal funerals, we say the word "alleluia" a lot, which is kind of weird, but also rather fitting. In doing so, we acknowledge that when people die, it is not the end because the love that God has infused into all creation (and into the relationships we had with them) can never die. Hard for even me to believe sometimes (especially as I write this and face the loss of someone I liked as much as Stephen Monford), but it is true, just the same. Death sucks, but it is a part of living, and many times it happens to people we love.
The beautiful thing about grief is that it helps become real human beings. We suffer the loss of the physical presence of a person, and we have to deal with the fact that our relationship has changed and not ended. The new change is hard to face-- even sometimes frustrating-- because it means they are not here with us. Yet, every time I have grieved, there comes a day when I feel, and know the presence and love of the one I have lost in its new form. I have felt it on a breeze, heard it on the radio, and even experienced it in a conversation or dream. I learn to look for them when I feel loved and in God's presence.
Yet, I will admit now, that I am very sad, and will miss this dear, sweet soul who loved wastefully and lived his life with courage and integrity. As you walk across the courtyard, take a moment to miss him and pray a prayer of thanksgiving for his life and work. Perhaps in honor of St. Stephen Monford, we can take on the practice of just responding to the need of others with an "I got you" and a smile.
Tim
I am very sad that this sweet man, who was always so kind and helpful whenever our paths crossed ,is no longer with us at All Saints. I heard his name and I knew I knew him, but it has been a year or so since I was actively doing things at church: getting food to take to people, bringing food for special occasions, etc. When I saw Stephen's picture, I immediately remembered him. When he was talking to someone finding out how he could help them, this person was the focus of his attention and the center of his universe. When I was looking for an e-care meal once, he personally practically took everything out of the freezer looking for one main dish (I ended up buying a rotisserie chicken ) He volunteered to carry heavy things or even get things out of the car . I will miss him - he was indeed full of joy and his joy was contagious. Just to say "Hello" and see his smile always put a smile on my face and lifted my spirits.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Tim, for jogging my memory with the picture . I will definitely keep Stephen Monford on my list of very special people who are no longer with us here on this earth.