The Demon of Judgment

One of my favorite movies is Keanu Reeves’ “Constantine.” Reeves plays a doomed “spiritual detective” who gets to live out his life on earth chain-smoking and dying of lung cancer while doing his best to earn his way into heaven by eradicating the world of lawless demons who prey upon the innocent.The demons create havoc and then, through prayers and other “exorcist skills” Constantine names them, casts them out, and sends them back to oblivion.

Recently, one “demon” I see a great deal of in myself and others is one I would call “judgment.” Judgment shows its nasty face constantly these days head in  because we all are networked together in such a way that we can instantly react to others under its power. Having honest and robust arguments is not a bad thing, mind you, but judgment takes them over when we find ourselves classifying each other as “evil” or “a bad person” or,  “always wrong.” We are given tools that make it super easy to forget our common humanity. 

Jesus flatly rejects this “demon”, though. In fact, he assigns the status of “blessed” to us when we act in the opposite way. When he says, “Blessed are the meek,” for instance, he is telling us that when we listen and seek to  understand before forming our reaction to others, we are blessed. When we seek out ways to be merciful and loving (even when others are awful to us), we are blessed. 

Being merciful and loving to people we think are jerks is hard work. It does not mean allowing yourself to be abused or taken advantage of. Sometimes, the best route is to (as I had to do recently) just stop the interaction or discussion. What it also means for me is that I have to take time to breathe, pray, and remind myself that all of us are children of God. Tough stuff, sometimes, I know. 

One first step out of being controlled by judgment is curiosity. I ask myself 3 or 4 questions about the unseen person on the other end:

-What kind of day are they having?

- What are we getting out of this energetic exchange?

- How or why is this topic of disagreement a point of pain or anxiety for the other person or for me?

- How might I offer an opportunity for a more human interaction?

- What might the other person need from me?

The good news, though, is that, like John Constantine’s nemeses, this kind of common “demon”  is easily defeated – if we take the time to name it, breathe, pray through it, and  learn from it with “holy curiosity” and the spiritual resource called God's love for us all. 

Being blessed, Jesus promises, is so much sweeter than being right.